Huge shock: it happened at the Post Office. I went in to buy stamps and mail a couple of letters. I asked for a roll of stamps and 20 international stamps and immediately peeled off one of each to put on my letters. When I removed the domestic stamp, I noticed that it was marked "42 cents", which means that it will no longer be sufficient the next time postage rates increase, so I asked, "Oh, the rolls aren't permanent validity stamps?" The postal worker burst out laughing and said, "Well, that's a new term!" I guess I looked confused, because she finally added, "No, they're not Forever Stamps." Yeah, "permanent validity stamp" is laughable, but "Forever Stamp" is a name we can all take seriously.
The postal worker continued to chuckle and asked what I had called them again (evidently so she could repeat the funny joke to all her vocabulary-impaired colleagues). I refrained from asking if the Forever Stamps come with a promise ring, and instead just said, "'Permanent validity Stamps," adding in an appropriately sneering tone, "I just moved here from France, and that's what they're called there." And where they've had them for years, and where you'd be hard-put to buy a domestic-postage stamp that isn't permanent validity, unlike the price-labelled domestic stamps still sold by the stupid U.S. Post Office, I thought to myself but did not say out loud.
I am a paragon of self-restraint.
When I got back to my apartment, my one piece of mail today was my "A Paris" magazine, the quarterly publication of the City of Paris, letting all us Parisians know what's going on in our hometown, promptly forwarded to me by the lovely Poste française. Very appropriate for Bastille Day. Take that! you stupid American postal worker woman.
Also, today I was shown an apartment by a real estate agent who was carrying a binder labelled "Inportant [something]" The label was printed, not hand-written, so someone had to look at it at least twice: once while typing and once while sticking it on the binder. Had I been able to see the rest of the label, there is no doubt in my mind that I would have seen at least one inappropriate apostrophe as well.
If someone doesn't take me out for ice cream soon, I'm moving back to Paris.
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5 comments:
Apparently it's going to be Wednesday right after Project Runway.
See G40.
Wednesday: hold on one more day, crabby-pants.
Cultural re-entry is very difficult and can only be soothed by frozen sweets!
Looking forward to seeing you on Wednesday.
I'm afraid you've anticipated your immediate future experience when you titled your most recent note. People in the US are no longer embarrassed to sound ignorant.
Our president has lowered the bar considerably.
phil
You weren't at the E. Lake St. branch were you? Yeah, we don't go there. Consider yourself warned.
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